Do I even like singers? I think that my gut reaction would have to be; "No." But, then too, asked if I like children, I'd also say no. Asked if I like people, the answer would be the same. "No." I like a lot of individual children, and a lot of individual people, but taken as a whole ~ not so much. (I've been married to the Nameless Cynic far too long, I guess.)
Singers, taken as a whole ~ you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. . . oh, wait! That was Obi-Wan talking about the Mos Eisley Space Port. Wow, he could have been talking about some of the singers I've known.
So, what is it? Why can some singers be self-centered, egotistical, swaggering, tin-plated dictators with delusions of godhood?
Well, think about our instrument. With pianists, guitarists, violinist, whatever-ists, you can separate the instrument from the player.
F'r instance, I have 3 guitars. Irving, the oldest, was a present on my 11th birthday. I remember driving about 1 1/2 hours to the nearest music store, and picking out the guitar. I remember the sales clerk being very condescending. When I got him to actually hand me the instrument, a lovely Yamaha folk guitar, I first checked out the harmonics, and then I started playing House of the Rising Sun, with the guitar riff made famous by The Animals. (I had been playing since I was 5 or 6, this was my second guitar.) (A video version is provided here for your listening enjoyment. Nothing terribly exciting, although, I am impressed - I had no idea that wireless instruments existed in 1964!) Irving has gone on to travel the world with me. I would be devastated if something were to happen to him. But, ultimately, he's just a guitar. He is separate from me.
The second guitar lining my wall is a classical guitar. It was purchased either the same day as Irving or we went back the next day. It was my dad's guitar. He liked the wider neck that the classical style gave him, and he preferred the softer sound of the nylon strings. Dad only knew a few chords, but that was all he needed. We'd sit around some afternoons and he'd bring out his guitar, and we'd sing things like My Grandfather's Clock, The Crawdad Song, or The Wabash Cannonball. Whenever I play that guitar, I am reminded of Dad and how much fun we'd have. But, that guitar isn't him.
The third guitar was my big brother's. Hal gave me my first guitar, long lost to the rampages of time. He taught me how to play the aforementioned House of the Rising Sun. He was an amazing guitarist, capable of playing any style, all self-taught. When I play his guitar, I feel closer to him again. It's a nice feeling. But, once again, even though this was his instrument, it isn't him.
I have a friend who is a violinist. She has many violins, but her favorite is called Frankenfiddle. It is made up of pieces of several broken violins, and is literally held together by duck tape. (It was DUCK tape before it was DUCT tape.) Frankenfiddle looks horrible, but had a glorious warm sound. People would laugh when they saw it, but once they heard her play it, they'd stop laughing. She never took the laughter seriously, because the violin was only her instrument, it wasn't her.
Think about what would happen if a woman who wasn't pretty, wasn't well-made-up, was obviously past her prime walked onto a stage to sing. You would immediately dismiss her. Don't argue, you probably would. Many people have. Think about the shock that Susan Boyle was in 2009. In case you've forgotten, or don't know who I'm talking about here's the shortest version of the video I could find. If she had come onstage carrying a flute, for instance, people would have taken her far more seriously at first glance. Since she, herself, is not the loveliest woman imaginable, people are surprised that her voice, her instrument, is so lovely.
Other musicians, the instrumentalists, are able to separate themselves from their instrument. Singer can't. Our bodies area our instruments. When I'm teaching, I try to get my students to think of their voices, their vocal folds, as an instrument. That way, when I'm trying to get them change how they sing, they don't feel as if I am trying to change THEM. Once again, think about it. How can I, as a teacher, criticize their voice without criticizing the person. It's not easy. So, the more I can differentiate between you and your instrument, the better.
Going back to guitars. I can say that I don't like the sound that Eddy Van Halen gets out of his guitar. I think he's a very talented guitarist, but I don't like the distortion, or whatever he puts on the instrument. There. I have criticized his instrument, but not his talent, his ability, or him. When people gush at meeting him, they talk about how great his playing is, not how great he, as a human being, is.
Paul McCartney: a musical legend, a musical genius, a Beatle, a god, has also been called one of the greatest songsmiths of our time. And I think that while he can continue to compose, and play guitar, his voice has gone from being a light tenor to being thin, reedy and quavering with age. Yup, I've said it. Paul should stop singing. I've insulted his voice, his instrument, and himself.
However, this doesn't explain why I don't like singers. When people meet Paul, or Lady Gaga, or Luciano Pavarotti (difficult, being as he died in 2007, but stay with me) they gush about how great the performer is. Not how wonderfully they play, but how great they are. Not separating the instrument from the performer. Part of the problem with this is that it can seriously mess with a person's priorities. If everyone thinks you are wonderful simply because of how you sing, then does it matter what kind of a human being you are? (I'm not saying that Paul McCartney, Lady Gaga or Pavarotti are/were not stellar human beings - I just used them as convenient examples.)
How much easier is it to take Susan Boyle seriously in this video from 2010, just a year after her debut on Britain's Got Talent? She's now looking more like a singer, with an orchestra and backup singers. Same voice. Same person. Same song. Apparently had some sort of a breakdown following her loss on Britain's Got Talent. She seems to have recovered. I just hope that she's not letting her fame and fortune go to her head. I was with a singer who after ordering hot water to drink at a restaurant, and telling them specifically how to prepare it, then sent it back for not tasting right. They probably did something unseemly to her water in the kitchen. Can't say that I'd blame them, either, if they had. Hopefully, Ms Boyle isn't doing anything like that.
Let's be clear, if you are a singer, this is your instrument:
Pretty, isn't it?
OK, most singers are fine, good people, and I really do like them. Kids, too. Just not sopranos.
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