Vocal Myth Busting

Earlier this week, I had a question from a confused student. She wanted to know that since it was bad to sing in the morning, why was her school having her sing from 9 in the morning till noon? I was curious where she'd heard that it was bad to sing before noon. Turns out that a previous teacher had told her that it was bad to try and sing before you'd been awake for 4 hours, as the voice needed that time to warm up.

It's always hard to know what to do when confronted with that kind of statement. Do I laugh? Get angry? Tell her that her last teacher was an ignorant idiot with no idea of what they were doing? What I ended up doing was telling her that I'd never heard that one before, but I personally had experience that proved it false. For over 10 years, I had church services that began at 8:00 on Sunday mornings. I had to be there at 7:15. I'd get up at 6:00, rush around getting ready, and be singing by 7:30. I never had any problems, other than being sleepy. My voice, in fact, was far more awake than I was. It's just a matter of what you are used to. 


This got me thinking: what other vocal myths are there out there? I've run into many of them through the years. Perhaps I can dispel some of them. Some of them might even be true! But in the end: Who you gonna call?


(By the way, according to legend, Ray Parker Jr. did not like the song "Ghostbusters" even though it became his biggest hit. He had the word "Ghostbusters" shouted because he didn't want to sing it!)


I've been visiting a lot of the "vocal myths" sites to research this blog. Many of them are trying to sell you something; usually their book or dvd of vocal instruction. A surprising number of them are very poorly written. And none of them were directed at what I'm going to write about. Of course, you are allowed to dismiss what I'm writing, the same way that I dismissed them. (But, the difference is that I'm right, and they aren't. So there!)


Myth 1) Standing up on tiptoe will help you hit the high notes. This one is false. Actually, standing flatfooted is the bast way to get the proper support for singing those pesky high notes. Men have something of an advantage over women on this one. Fashion does not currently dictate that men wear high heels. Standing on tippee-toes only succeeds in making you easier to tip over. Myth: False.

This is surprised for a Vulcan

Myth 2) Raising your eyebrows will help you hit the high notes. Not really. For the most part, all that raising your eyebrows will accomplish is making you look surprised. Sometimes, it goes hand in hand with trying to squeeze the notes out - very bad. But, sometimes it can be used as a way to trick singers into better placement, if it can encourage raising the soft palate. Myth: Barely Plausible.


Myth 3) Cold air is bad for your throat, and to protect against this you must wear scarves at all times. Yes, cold air is not good for the voice. It tightens up the vocal cords and throat muscles. Even more important, cold dry air can be worse, as it dries up the moisture in the throat. And, yes, in the winter, scarves are a great way of protecting your throat. But not all the time. I've known several tenors (it's always the tenors!) who wouldn't go outside without a scarf even when the temperature was above 90°! Myth: (which was about wearing scarves all the time) Busted. 

Myth 4) You should never drink liquid that's too hot or too cold. The thinking is that the cold liquids may shock the vocal folds, or freeze them. Personally, I drink ice water and ice tea all the time, and all it does is quench my thirst. Hot liquids, like hot tea, help to sooth my throat and relax it when I've been working too long. But, I know people that swear either one will damage their singing. I guess that this is one you have to figure out for yourself. Myth: Plausible.


Myth 5) You should never drink anything with caffeine or alcohol. The thinking with caffeine is that it is a diuretic, and will strip moisture from your throat and the vocal folds. Once again, I've never found that to be a problem. Even a little lemon doesn't seem to be a problem, and I've read that anything acidic should also be avoided. But, notice that I said "a little lemon". I have noticed that too much lemon can leave my throat feeling dry. Too much caffeine, and my stomach gets upset with me. Too much alcohol and, well, you probably know what will happen if you drink too much booze. So, I'm coming back to "too much" of anything is bad. Which, hopefully, you already knew. Oh, and never, never perform when you've had too much alcohol. This has nothing to do with what it'll do to your voice, but what it'll do to your ability to control yourself in any way. It'd just be nasty. Myth: Busted.

Myth 6) You should avoid dairy products on days when you will be singing. This one I've told many a student. The idea on this one is that the dairy products cause the body to create more phlegm. That part is not true. What milk and other dairy products do is to make the existing phlegm thicker. This thicker phlegm stays on the vocal folds, and makes it difficult to sing clearly. While I still try and limit my dairy on days that I'll be singing, I know a bass who can eat anything and still sing beautifully. So, I've been experimenting, and a little bit doesn't seem to bother me. Once again, it's all about moderation! But, I'll still say: Myth: True.


Myth 7) You should always warm up your voice before singing. For the most part, I am in complete agreement with this. Just as you should warm up your body before doing a work-out, you should warm up the muscles in your throat. Without a good, careful warm up you risk doing damage to your vocal cords. I stress 'good and careful' in that statement. I knew a soprano who would wake up, have a cup of tepid water, and begin to warm up  by screeching out high notes. This inevitably led her to panic that her voice was gone, and she would not be able to sing the performances we had scheduled. (Somehow, she always could.) I led her in a warm up once, and she had no problems gradually reaching the rafters of her voice. Having said all that; if you are singing properly, and singing daily, then the voice never really cools down, and a warm up becomes redundant. But, please note: there are a lot of qualifiers in that statement. "Singing properly," "singing daily." Otherwise: warm up! Myth: True.

So there you have it. I'd hoped to discuss the top 10 myths, but these are the only ones that have come to mind this week. If you have some, let me know.


Aloha!

Tonedeaf?

Another blog without obvious videos. Background music: The Holly and the Ivy by a group called Medieval Baebes. (I know it's not December - just stay with me and it'll make sense. I hope.)

I get asked a lot if I can help someone who is tonedeaf. My answer is always: "Yes, of course. For the most part it's just a matter of learning new ways of listening." I then like to mention the young man that I had as a student for a summer a few years ago. He was attending Lutheran seminary, and needed to learn how to sing. (Lutherans expect their pastors to sing quite a bit) Unfortunately, he had suffered from rather severe hearing loss as a child. We worked very hard. By the time he headed back to seminary, he knew and could sing all three of the service settings that were in use at the time. He was probably never going to be a particularly good singer, but he could, as they say, carry a tune.


I am aware that there are neurological issues that can cause actual tone deafness, known by the scientific name amusia. But the number of people suffering worldwide from this condition are only between 4 and 5%. That's worldwide. So the chances that you know someone with this condition are somewhat slender. For the few amusic people in the world, I honestly don't know if I or anyone else could help them; but since it is related to other speech and reading disorders like dyslexia, and dyslexic people can learn to read, I suppose it is possible. And I would be willing to help them try.


For the most part, though, when thinking about the supposedly "tone deaf", I always go back to the experience of my friend, Melissa. She is my oldest friend. (Not that she is my oldest friend, but the one I've known the longest!) We met when she was in 1st grade, and I was in 3rd. We were both faculty brats. This is similar to being an army brat, except that our fathers instead of being in the army were members of the Davis & Elkins college faculty. This made us stand out from our other classmates in the local schools in Elkins. I also stood out because I could sing rather well. Melissa stood out for the opposite reason.


Central Elementary school was built when the plans for schools and prisons were pretty much the same. Lots of very high ceilings, looming Hitchcockesque shadows, small windows with bars; it was a dark and scary place, so old that the stairs had grooves in them worn down by generations of students. I remember in 4th grade, we were switching classes, just like the big kids. One class had 63 kids, 52 desks and only 45 books to go around. Social studies. There was not much going on in that class except trying to find a place to sit. But I digress.


One thing that Central School did have, was the best theater in town. Also very old, it was huge, and had two balconies. Every year we had a Christmas assembly where each class got up on the stage and sang one or two Christmas carols. (No one worried about non-Christians. The closest synagogue was an hour and a half away. And we won't even discuss a mosque!) That year, my 3rd grade class got up and sang Up on the Housetops. I remember that the 6th grade class sang The Holly and the Ivy. I'd never heard that one, and I really loved it. (See? There's the reason for the background song!) 


The other thing I remember is that when Melissa's 1st grade class got up from their seats, she stayed in her place in the auditorium. 30-40 other kids got up to march onto that immense stage, and she sat, alone. Think about that for just a moment. Everybody else in her class stood up and went onstage, and she sat there, for all the world (or as much of it as mattered at that moment) to see. She had been told that she sang so badly, they couldn't even trust her to go up and mouth the words. God forbid that she embarrass her teacher by singing off pitch. 


As the years passed, Melissa and I spent many an afternoon playing cards, drinking lots of tea, and singing along with our record collections. She sang off pitch a lot, and I never once told her to mouth the words or sing softer. (Of course, I was singing pretty loudly, myself!) And I noticed something; as we sang more and more, she was singing better and better. More of the notes began to be the correct ones. No real lessons, no real work, just a matter of practice.


Eventually, as a theater major at Dartmouth, Melissa had to take group voice class. She passed! She'll probably never be a great singer, but, she passed that class, and still enjoys singing along with her CD collection. 


The teenage years were hard for me. I found out (years later), that my older brother would leave the house to avoid hearing me practice, because, in his words: I "sucked." I would say that at that point, my ambition had somewhat outstripped my training. 


When I tried to get more training, from someone besides my mother, that person, the sole professor of the college music department, told me that I had no talent and should get out of music. What I had was a big voice that was horribly out of control. (What he had were issues with my father.) Now I know how to deal with that (the vocal problem, not the personal antagonism!) in myself and in my students. 


I have seen vocal ostracism practiced upon others, and been the victim of it myself. It's not fun. It is very hard to separate the instrument from the person. You can criticize a person's piano and they might not take it personally, but criticize a person's voice and you have dissed them in a very personal manner. Hence my contention: no one is helpless. Everyone can learn how to sing. It just takes some work.

Real Job

(Sorry - no videos this week. I will happily provide background music, though. Both are Eileen Farrell. The first is D'amor sull'ali rosee from Verdi's Il Trovatore.The second is Gershwin's But Not for Me from Girl Crazy. Same singer, two very different styles.(That's part of what training can get you!) (And now - this week's blog!)

I had a conversation this past week that made me realize that the person with whom I was speaking had no respect for my time, expertise, or employment. This woman wanted me to teach her daughter, at their home, for far less than my going rates. I did this last year, as a favor to her older daughter, when I had more free time. This year, when she wanted me to come to them again, I suggested that they come to my studio, but for the same rate. She refused, rather rudely, I thought with the words, "I have a job." Implying that I don't.

A few years ago, in the wilds of Cheyenne, Wyoming, I was singing in a women's quintet for a recital. I'd been given the music a week before our first rehearsal. It wasn't particularly difficult music, but I wasn't sure which vocal part the leader wanted me to sing. So, knowing that my "free time" to practice this was limited, (I was the music director for two churches with a total of 4 services, and teaching 38 students each week.) I quickly looked over all 5 parts. None of them were out of my range, so while I suspected that I would be singing the highest part, I didn't want to make any assumptions. All told, I probably spent about an hour and a half of quality rehearsal time on the song.

At the first rehearsal, I arrived 15 minutes early at the home of the group's leader. (I was taught that if rehearsal is scheduled to begin at 2, then you warm-up your voice at home, and plan your trip to arrive at 1:45, so that you will be in place and ready to begin at 2.) Most of the others arrived within the next 15 minutes. These were all the professional musicians. The leader taught choir and band in the local school system, as well as teaching private flute lessons. One of the others was the concert mistress for the local symphony, second chair violin with several area symphonies, and taught private violin lessons. The fourth was the cantor for the Catholic cathedral and taught private violin lessons. (If you're getting the idea here, all four of us had several different jobs, all involving making our living with music, and teaching.) As parts were assigned, (I was given the highest part) we all ruefully admitted that we'd only been able to spend a little bit of time on the song, but thought we knew it reasonably well. After waiting 15 minutes into the rehearsal for our last person, we went ahead and started. We ran through the song a few times, only needing to stop once or twice to work on a difficult section. Things were going quite well, except for the missing part.

She finally showed up 30 minutes late. After a brief "Sorry," she then told us that she'd been busy. We overlooked that breech of manners, and asked her if she'd had a chance to look at the song. "Oh, no. That's what we're here for, right? But, I need to warm up first." I was worried. I led her warm-up and then gave out our starting pitches. (The song was a capella - no accompaniment) and half way through the first phrase it became obvious that we were in trouble. She had no idea where her notes were, or how they fit into the overall scheme of the song. The rehearsal degenerated from working out trouble spots and interpretation to me pounding out her notes on the piano while the rest of us sang our parts.

Almost two hours of our time was lost in teaching her how her part went. (I was also taught that you should multiply the time lost by the number of people involved 2 x 4 = 8 hours of wasted time) At the end of the exhausting rehearsal, she commented on the fact that the rest of us seemed to already know our parts. She was told that the we had each spent time during the week learning the notes and the phrasing. Her response: "Must be nice to have free time like that. I'm a paralegal. I have a REAL job."

I am not normally a violent person. I wanted to kill her. It needed to involve lots of pain and suffering on her part. I did explain to her, without raising my voice or using foul language, that we also had real jobs, and that we all had at least two of them.

These are not the only times that I've come across this attitude. Sadly, it happens all too often.

A parishioner was preparing for her wedding. She asked me to sing. I told her that I'd be happy to and asked how many songs she wanted. She had three in mind. I knew two of them, but would need music and additional rehearsal time on the third. Making quick calculations, I told her what my fees would be. There was a look of outraged shock on her face. How could I even think of charging her? Anyone can sing! She had a cousin who had "a real pretty voice and would sing for nothing." Trying to keep my temper, I asked if she was going to pay the pianist. "Of course. She had to have lessons to learn how to play!" I didn't sing for her wedding.

On a performance tour, a young woman told me that she didn't understand all the fuss some singers make about training. She'd never taken a single voice lesson. Couldn't even read music, but she could do everything I could. The one thing I couldn't do was help her to understand her error.

Currently, I sing for Opera Unlimited's school outreach program. We tour the state of New Mexico bringing opera into the elementary schools. Opera Unlimited is a non-profit organization, but I am paid. Not as an employee, but as a contractor. I teach at the New Mexico School of Music, once again, not as an employee, but as a contractor. I also teach out of my home, as Minnich Music. I have sung with Opera Southwest, still as a contractor. All of this makes me self-employed. The self-employment tax for 2011 dropped 2%, making it 13.3%
Here are the tax tables for 2011:

• 10% on taxable income from $0 to $8,500
• 15% on taxable income over $8,500 to $34,500
• 25% on taxable income over $34,500 to $83,600
• 28% on taxable income over $83,600 to $174,400
• 33% on taxable income over $174,400 to $379,150
• 35% on taxable income over $379,150.

Last year, I should have paid 10% of my income in taxes. But, because of how convoluted our system is, I paid just over 25%. One year, due to an IRS person inputting the wrong numbers somewhere on my return, they wanted 175% of my income in taxes. (Yup, almost twice what I made that year!)

In Germany, when we lived there (1990 to 1997) anyone involved in the arts only paid taxes on 75% of their income. In Ireland authors get the same break. In those countries, artists and musicians get respect and are encouraged to add to their culture's richness. In this country our contribution is overlooked. Here, American Idol is considered culture.

Music and art are quickly disappearing in our schools. There are some schools that have such horrific budgetary issues that they are even cutting sports; but those are always the last to go. I'm not going to argue the importance of physical education and sports. But I will argue for music and art. OK, especially music, I am slightly prejudiced in this area. Music study enhances cognitive skills, and fine motor control, it teaches creativity and cooperation, empathy, respect for other cultures, the list just keeps on going.

And yet, musicians are not respected or valued in our society. All too often, I am expected to justify why anyone should pay me at all! I have studied most of my life, in a field that I love, in order to acquire a level of skill that not many people attain. I am passionate about music, about singing - you may have noticed. Although I've mentioned money and taxes, that's not what this is really about. I am a professional musician, an opera singer, a vocal instructor. Those ARE real jobs.

Mahna mahna

I noticed that the last few weeks have been pretty much video free. And this past week has been insane. Next week is looking pretty much the same. So, this week, we are doing nothing much but videos. Nameless Cynic, proving what a wonderful husband he is, brought up a video to cheer me up this morning, so I thought I'd share it with you.

But, since I like to give you different versions of the same song, here's the original, from an Italian film called, Sweden: Heaven and Hell. 

There is also a French version, Mais non, mais non, and an Arabic version, Anam, anam. It's been done as thrash metal by Skin. Or pop/disco by Vanilla as No Way, No Way. Strictly instrumental versions abound. And I understand that Benny Hill used the song quite a bit.

But, my favorite has to be the Muppets. Turns out that it was in the first season on Sesame Street in a slightly different version. It then found it's way onto The Ed Sullivan Show, in a form much more like the one at the top of the page. This is the one that was on the very first episode of The Muppet Show.

Although the Asylum Street Spankers do have a wonderful version, too. I tried to find it with the video, but all I could find was the audio. 

So, there you have it. One song, 3 different versions. No real message this week. I'll be back with a bit more depth next week.