Sunday, December 2, 2012

Wedding Music

My older son got married last weekend. They are calling it an "elopement." My daughter is calling it a "flash-mob wedding." I didn't know that an elopement could include family members at the ceremony, and I would have thought that at a flash-mob wedding, everyone would simultaneously have gotten married. I'm not quite sure what I would call it, but I now have a daughter-in-law, and am very happy about the whole thing. 

It was a very short ceremony at the local botanical gardens. There was no music. There really wasn't time for any, and that was fine. But it got me to thinking about weddings and music. 

If you want to get technical about it, I've had several weddings, myself. The first was to my ex-husband of many years. My brother played the guitar and sang  And I Love Her, and Here There and Everywhere. (For those of you who may not know, those are both Beatles songs.) (At the rehearsal, we recessed to The House of the Rising Sun.) It was lovely. It was not, however, free. He presented me with the bill, for several thousand dollars, and then wrote "PAID IN FULL" across it as a wedding gift. 

The next wedding, to my second (and current) husband of almost 25 years, had a medieval theme. For my processional, since it was an outdoor wedding, and my matron of honor was one of my musicians, I had a brass windchime hanging from the bottom of my bouquet (my daughter feels that you need to understand that this was the 1980s. I have no idea what that has to do with anything). 

I had arranged Heinrich Schutz' Wedding Song for autoharp,  two recorders and two soprani (that is the REAL plural of soprano, although wiki.answers says that it is the pretentious form;  I am not pretentious... OK, maybe a little).  However, one of the soprano's workplace filed for bankruptcy a week before the ceremony, and she had to cancel. One of my recorder players had something happen, and couldn't play. I ended up singing with the other musicians. Did I pay the others? No. They were all friends, and offered their services as their gifts to me. Some people think it was kind of tacky that I sang at my own wedding. Others think it made the ceremony even more special. I thought it was wonderful, if a little more stressful than I'd planned.

The last wedding was when the Nameless Cynic and I renewed our vows. I was the music director for the church, and was able to get another soprano, flute, violin, cello and contrabass to perform the Schutz Wedding Song. I did plan on singing this time. No one had to cancel, and since they were all friends, once again this was their gift to me. (It's good to have friends!)

My daughter has already told me that I am having absolutely no say in the music when she gets married. And I won't be singing. That's OK by me. I'm going to have enough to do, what with crying, and letting Bill hold my hand. (Our younger son has not yet made any plans that we know of.)

All of this brings me to wedding music in general. A quick search on the Interwebs has shown me that, while there are still a lot of musicians offering their services for weddings, there are a lot of ceremonies going on without live music. I know that it has been years since I sang for a wedding. One minister reported that out of over 225 weddings where she officiated, less than 40 had live music. Several sites offered CDs specifically tailored to your wants. I think I am horrified. (Why am I not sure if I'm horrified or not? Well, there are so many other things out there to be truly horrified over. I'm not sure this one really ranks that far up on the list.)

But it is definitely a loss. And not just in revenue for the poor musicians out there eking out a living. It's a loss for the bride and groom. Yes, you can have a CD played that will provide flawless professional music. But really, who wants that? 

No, stay with me for a moment. Isn't it better to have a professional musician, who can honestly tailor the music to what you need. Example? I sang the processional for a wedding. Yes, the processional was sung. It was a Lutheran wedding and the song the couple wanted was currently popular, and not at all sacred. This pastor refused to allow secular music to be a part of the service. But, the processional was actually before the ceremony, so the song was allowed. And since it was very long - 12 pages! - the idea was that everyone, including the pastor and the groomsmen would process during the song. I thought it was a good compromise. Or it seemed to be one at the time. 

Here's what happened. 

As we timed out the procession, it came out that he needed to start walking at the bridge in the song. (A bridge is a middle section that has a different pattern than the rest of the song: it bridges from one section to another.) I suggested that he could listen for the bridge and start walking. Since he was a member of that church's choir and could read music, this didn't seem like I was asking for too much. He didn't like that idea. HE wanted me to signal him by nodding when it was time for him to start walking. (Raise your hand if you see problems with this!) But it worked fine at the rehearsal. 

So, the next day, I stood up at the front of the church. The pastor and the rest of the wedding party are standing at the back. The pianist starts playing, and as I start to sing, I notice that the pastor is happily talking to the groom, and is paying absolutely no attention to where I am in the song. Playing the piano behind me, the accompanist is happily throwing pages of the song onto the floor when we are done with them. Did I mention the song was 12 pages long? We get to the bridge. I nod my head. The pastor keeps on happily talking to the groom. A page of music hits the floor behind me. I continue to nod my head. Another page hits the floor. I'm beginning to feel like one of those nodding dogs you used to see at the back window on cars. I can hear the soft whooshing sound of yet another page hitting the floor, and another, and another. Finally, I catch the pastor's eye. He smiles at me, nods his head, and goes back to talking to the groom. I'm starting to sweat. And I DON"T sweat. (Literally, I don't. It's something genetic.) 

Finally, as we are beginning the last page of the song, the pastor begins the procession. I skipped the very end and jumped back to the beginning of the bridge. My accompanist, being very good, quickly realized that I wasn't finishing the song, but she had no idea what was going on. Where they had the piano situated, she couldn't see the aisle, and so didn't know that we were in trouble. And, to make life even more interesting, all of the music was now on the floor, scattered around the piano. 

I sang about two pages a capella while she was on her hands and knees, frantically gathering the music, putting it in order and figuring out where I was. She got back on the bench and joined in where I was at the moment. Thank goodness I have very good pitch sense, and hadn't accidentally changed keys, or things would have been even more interesting. We finished the song just as the bride's father put her hand onto the groom's. 

Now, if that song had been performed by the original singer on a CD, what would have happened in this instance? The song would have finished and the procession would have happened in silence. There would have been no rhythm keeping the bride and her father in step together. One of the bridesmaids might have gotten flustered and all but raced down the aisle in her hurry to get there without falling. (Don't laugh, I've seen both of these things.) By having live performers there, we were able to somehow roll with the flow. 

Or, there was the wedding where the groom passed out. Twice. The pianist and I were able to cut some music short - when it looked like he was going to keel over again, or add to the list - when the best man was splashing water on the groom's face in an effort to bring him around. With a CD this would not have been possible. 

Not everything that makes live music at a wedding desirable is covering up for problems. Sometimes, I have looked at the bride and groom lighting the unity candle, and realized that I needed to slow the song down a little bit, to allow them to savor the moment. Or, looking at the bride's mother beaming with pleasure as she cries into her handkerchief, I find that I'm singing the Ave Maria with a slightly different emphasis. What I'm trying to make clear is that a live performer can respond and be in the moment in a way a recording can never be.

I want to end with a brief rant about a song that one of the custom CD sites felt was the best classical song to include on their CD for your wedding: Quando me'n vo', otherwise known as Musetta's Waltz. While you listen to the lovely Anna Moffo's version, read thru this translation, and decide for yourself if it's appropriate for your wedding.

When I walk
When I walk alone in the street
People stop and stare at me
And everyone looks at my beauty,
Looks at me
From head to foot.

And then I relish the sly yearning
Which escapes from their eyes
And which is able to perceive
My most hidden beauties.
Thus the scent of desire is all around me,
And it makes me happy!

And you who know, who remember and yearn,
You shrink from me?

I know it very well:
You do not want to express your anguish,
I know so well that you do not want to express it
but you feel as if you are dying!


Yeah, that's the perfect wedding song, isn't it? (And, yes, professional musicians may be more expensive than your second cousin, or the CD, but we are worth it!)


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