What is YOUR Song?

Earlier this week, a friend posted this on Facebook, and I reposted it. What Kurt Vonegut says in this picture, captures almost everything I feel about the arts. Except for the fact that I am making a living through them. Or trying to. And we need people who do, we need people who excel in the arts, or we would lose something essential in our lives.
Later this week, another friend posted this:

"When a woman of the Ubuntu African tribe knows she is pregnant, she goes to the jungle with other women, and together they pray and meditate until you get to "The song of the child." When a child is born, the community gets together and they sing the child's song. When the child begins his education, people get together and he sings his song. When they become an adult, they get together again and sing it. When it comes to your wedding, the person hears his song. Finally, when their soul is going from this world, family and friends are approaching and, like his birth, sing their song to accompany it in the "journey".

"In the Ubuntu tribe, there is another occasion when men sing the song. If at some point the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, they take him to the center of town and the people of the community form a circle around her. Then they sing "your song." The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment, but is the love and memory of his true identity. When we recognize our own song, we have no desire or need to hurt anyone.

"Your friends know "your song". And sing when you forget it. Those who love you can not be fooled by mistakes you have committed, or dark images you show to others. They remember your beauty as you feel ugly, your total when you're broke, your innocence when you feel guilty and your purpose when you're confused." Tolba Phanem, African poet

Reading this, I got to thinking (always a dangerous thing, I know). What is MY song? Bill and I have a song - Happy Together. People usually think of the Turtles version, and while I do really love that one, this is our favorite. (Although I do kind of miss the "How is the weather?" lyric in the Turtles version) 


But, that is OUR song. What's MY song? What song could bring me back to myself if I needed the reminder? Think about it. 
In an episode of Ally McBeal (for those of you who might remember the series), her therapist told her to find a song. And when she was feeling stressed or afraid, she should hear that song, and it would bring her back to herself. I've tried and looked and I cannot remember what her song was, but I do remember her walking down the street, with her song playing in the background, and all the strange looks she got dancing down the street to HER song.

When I was a teenager, I had a song. When I was hurt, or scared, upset at how the world was treating me, it made me feel better, and centered. Perhaps not the most positive song out there, but it worked for me.  Simon & Garfunkel's I Am a Rock.(Looking at them, all I can think, beyond how talented they are and how well they sing together, is that they would never have had a career today. They look too odd. Not the typical boy-band that we've sadly come to expect.) But, back to my topic. Is this MY song now? NO. It worked for the teenaged me. But not now.


Then, for a time there was Barry Manilow's All the Time. But that was for Melissa, and later Bill. It was about my relationships with each of my dearest friends. (I even married one of them!) Would this song call me back to myself if I got lost? No, not really. It brings me back to a time when I felt very alone, and as the lyrics say: "All the time I thought that I was wrong. Wanting to be me but needing to belong. If I'd've just believed in all I had, If someone would have said 'You're not so bad'." That was just barely post I Am a Rock.


For a time, I really called on Carly Simon's I haven't Got Time for the Pain, but that was mostly for the lyrics of the chorus: "Now I haven't got time for the pain, I haven't got room for the pain, I haven't the need of the pain." But the rest of the song didn't really fit what I needed the chorus for. Still not MY song.

Maybe if I look into the world of opera. I love opera. Hmm. . . Vissi d'arte. (Puccini - Tosca) One of my all-time favorite arias. Here's Renata Tebaldi singing it. Going over the translation, I was thinking that maybe I had a winner. The beginning was going pretty well. But, when the mood of the music changes, it ceases to be what I'm looking for here. (I picked this version, because a translation is offered on-screen.) Most of the rest of the arias that I can think of have to do with leaving your love, dying, killing someone, dying, getting ready to die ~ I'm thinking that opera is sadly not where I'm going to find MY song. 


I love the Beatles. Maybe there? Yellow Submarine? (I posted that video a few blogs ago.) No. My favorite Beatles song? While My Guitar Gently Weeps. No, not even close. 


I googled "songs of affirmation" and got a lot of what Bill calls "whistle-boing-boing" music. New Age-y stuff. Not what I'm looking for. That did net me We Are the Champions by Queen. A great song. And, yes, a very strong, positive affirmation, but not what I'm looking for, either. I'm not really looking for affirmation, I'm looking for a song that defines me. Rules out I am Woman by Helen Reddy, too. When we recognize our own song, we have no desire or need to hurt anyone. This is proving to be harder than I thought.


Maybe a song that I wrote? But, I'm not much of a songwriter. Dad & I once wrote a song. I remember sitting in his lap as we wrote: I should have kept my mouth shut. I shouldn't ought to've told. I should have kept my lip zipped up till I'm a hundred years old. I should have kept my mouth shut, I shouldn't have opened it wide. 'Cause when I opened my mouth up, a fly flew inside. Hey, at 5, that was high art!


But, I'm still no closer to finding MY song. Suggestions? And while you're thinking about it - what's YOUR song?