Stiff neck

For those of you who may not know; I was cruelly and viciously attacked by our porch swing last week. It has never acted out before, and always been peaceable and friendly. We are now watching it closely for further signs of aggression, but it will be quite a while before I am willing to trust its seeming compliant attitude.


OK, what really happened, I sat on it, a chain broke, and it threw me over the back, landing on my head, neck and shoulder in a weird side/back tumble. 


It's been a week, and I'm still whimpering and in pain. Feeling sorry for myself, and making life miserable for those around me. But that damned swing really threw me for a loop - quite literally. My body no longer bends in those directions willingly.


But, here's why I'm writing about it. My neck hurts. Moving it is painful. By mid-afternoon, this has translated into pain in my jaw, which makes opening my mouth difficult. So, what have I been doing? I've been trying to really concentrate on support. But, my back hurts too, and standing in the correct position for very long is difficult. The sensible thing would be to take some time off, and let my body recuperate.


Except that I had two performances of Cinderella last week, (just days after the attack), a performance of Hansel & Gretel this week, followed by a recital where I'll be performing Schubert's Der Hirt auf dem Felsen. (Here is Christa Ludwig singing with Gervase de Peyer on clarinet, if you are curious. There isn't any video, so you can listen while you read.) So, taking time off really isn't an option.


Not terribly long ago, I tried to explain to my doctor that when you make your living through singing, a note to your employer really doesn't help anything. I don't think he understood just what it is that I do.


So anyway, what to do? I realized this morning that I'm going about it badly. I've been concentrating on support - the abdominal muscles, thighs, butt cheeks. When what I need to be working on is relaxation of the vocal mechanism. My problem isn't support or breath. It's simply that Second Basic Element - Relaxation of the Vocal Mechanism. I've been fighting that. Trying to force those muscles to relax. Talk about oxymoronic - using force and relax in the same sentence! Every time I try that, I can feel the muscles in my neck respond by getting tighter and tighter. All I can think of is that picture I posted of Diana Ross.  Really focus on her neck. You can see the tension there. That's not good.


Is doing this properly easy? No. I understand that it goes against everything that you think you should be doing. Even after all these years, when my focus is turned away from what I usually do, to something deceptively simple because of a stupid accident and tension and pain. It all comes down to this: if singing hurts, you're doing something wrong. 


I'd like to tell you that this realization has made everything fall into place, and that I'm now singing effortlessly again. I'd be lying. The loose-jawed submissive look is very difficult right now. But, I'm working on it, trying to relax and not not force it. 


I tell my students to work from their strengths, and then stretch into new ground. While the Schubert isn't new ground, its not necessarily my strength. At the moment, the aria from Boito's opera, Mefistofele, L'altra notte is my strength. (Here's Regine Crespin singing L'altra notte) And this can change from time to time. Last year Vissi d'arte from Puccini's Faust was it. This year, not so much. If I start with L'altra notte, and work into Mozart's Alleluia, I'm giving myself a much better chance on everything, even the Witch in Hansel & Gretel.


This post has been all about me and my current struggle. And I've included the music I have because it's important to me, at the moment. If O Danny Boy or Yellow Submarine is your strength, then start there. Start and end each practice session with a strength, whatever that may be. My point, and I do have one, is that all of us struggle with some of the most basic elements of singing from time to time. I have seen terror in the eyes of some highly paid singers as they weren't sure if that high note was going to be where they expected it to be. But, we all keep going, and learning, and sometimes re-learning how to sing. No one person ever knows everything about singing, and studying the art can take a lifetime.


And, finally, just because I can ~